Advent of Departure

Well, as this part of my life is coming to its end, I don't know what to say or feel. A large, extremely large, portion of me is sad and depressed. I want stuff to end as my life is transitioning. Instead, i'm having to deal with things that only deepen the conflict. School is only the tip of the iceberg, a large nuisance. People, places, events, and feelings that I want to forget. To LET GO of and put into some dark corner of my mind. No, my heart betrays the logic of my mind and I find myself steadily getting more and more attached to people and places that I DO NOT want to get attached to or develop any sort of feelings for. I do not know what to do. Should I close off myself and put on a facade and just.... push through? Should I be more active and "terminate"? I find suicide a weekly contemplation. Always on the brink of my mind, not a serious notion, but a playful suggestion tickling at my consciousness with that tinge of viability. My mind says to cut everything off, cold hard logic dictates the smartest, least painful route. The sooner I cut off myself the sooner I can move on. However, my heart betrays my mind and I unfortunately do not. I live a world, trapped by my own heart wallowing in my own misery and desperation.